So it's a new year!
A lot has happened in the last year. It's been a year filled with emotional ups and downs and and year of personal growth. I think I spent a lot of time last year worrying about a lot of things that I could not change(well I assumed I couldn't change) but were affecting me on daily basis. It was a few months over before Christmas when I had decided I wanted to do a bit more for me when I decided I wanted to get fit. So I did it, I set my mind to better myself physically in the hope of creating a healthy body as well as a healthy mind. It was during one of my gym sessions that someone said something that although at the time I didn't think affected me on reflection it helped me make some bigger decisions.
I need to step back a bit before I can go forward.
So through 2017 a couple of incidents began to occur through the day which disturbed my work life, or work work balance really. For some reason, and I really would have loved to find out someone took a dislike to me. It became unbearable to the point of causing my health to come into the equation. So for the first time in my life I stood up for myself. I know is sounds strange as a grown woman to say but, I don't like confrontation, I want to get on with my life and be happy, so I let most things pass me by. But this I could not shake and I did it. I did something for me, for my sanity, my happiness.
And do you know what I am so glad I did. 18 months of hell was changed within a week! Why had I not done it before, why not speak up. For the first time ever I felt I could...............................
So over Christmas I made the decision. No New Years resolution!
It was time to be happy. So it was new year new me, well not new me. But finding the old me. The happy me, the me that did things for me. The decision was made that I am going to spend more time doing what makes me happy. Because a happy mummy makes a happy home. So every so often I need to step away from my label, mummy, cook, wife, cleaner and be me. Be Amanda. Spend time doing what I love, for me.
And to top the start of my year off and prove that actually I am allowed to be me, have time for myself. I love to be creative. I'm not a great or amazing artist but my daughter will say different. So when I said to her that I would like to go to art lessons much to my joy she gushed 'mummy you must', she said that I was so good at drawing and the she didn't mind me not being at home if I was drawing. And although I don't need her permission to follow my pursuits, it gave me the confidence in myself and in the decision I had made.
Do something that makes you happy!!