We had been hearing about Corona Virus since January. And there were a lot of jokes due to the unfortunate fact that the virus was named after a popular beer. The actual name of the virus Covid-19. This was to become much less of a joke as we progressed into 2020. 

Unintentional Social isolation - On Monday/ Tuesday the 17th of March T was not well, so she stayed home with me and I went off to school as normal. I had, in my head, quite early on been moving information that was suddenly being made public. A bombardment of information, constantly being given and then changed. For me this caused a great amount of anxiety, anxiety which i battle with at the best of times but have learnt over the years to manage. The continual misinformation, change of information and lack of information impacted me as I have children that I class as vulnerable. Vulnerable because one has had a pulmonary heart valve fitted in the last couple of years and one that I know his chest is his vulnerability. In my work place people started putting out hand sanitizer, walking around with gloves down and the constant worry of being passed the virus and passing it on to colleagues.

Whilst at home on the Tuesday with ebbing anxiety over the welfare of my children. Having lost one child, my children are my world. It was post of one of the mothers from the school that helped me make my decision: 

"Not expecting any love for this post, but I know theres other parents fearing the backlash of being "over reactive". Psychology degree has taught me one thing, conformity is not always the safest option, governments are not always right, and fear is our bodies way to protect us from potential threats. I geniunely hope I look really silly in a couple of weeks, but I can't go against my instincts for the sake of saving face or saving a few weeks of ........'s education. Respect to ever

yone making their own choices, we're all parents trying to do the best by our children but no one should feel pressure to go against their gut. Our gut feelings safely bring our children into the world, I think our gut feelings are what keep them safe in it too. xxx"

Social Isolation - Decision made! Our family (not including hubby) social isolation started on the 18th of March. The saddest thing I had to do was let my family know that this was a decision that we had made. My parents who spend a lot of time with all their grandchildren agreed with heavy hearts. And that to date has been the hardest part of this whole situation. Family is the most important thing to me. So this decision to keep my family safe was it. 

Homeschooling was actually really enjoyable. I had two years in which he hated going to school, with tears and running away from the school gate, considering homeschooling. It was difficult to leave him some days with the fight that had occurred at school drop off. And tears before bed. So this felt nice. Doing school work in a way that he enjoyed, doesn't mean we didn't have struggles. But I managed and I got all my 'I'll do that tomorrow' s, which i am still enjoying. I hate clearing the lounge and kitchen, they are never ending. 

For me it was great to step away from life. To take a break from the constant pressure, continual never getting anything done. Make time!!! A phrase I hate because i struggle with this. If I make time for one thing then the other things have to be put on the back burner. Even now making time is quite hard, but in a different way. I'm getting things done in my time, because I know that i don't need to worry about not getting it done. I always see my self as not good enough, and always strive to improve and prove myself to my children, my family and myself.

So i'm slowing down. I sat in the garden during this and decided to document a few moments. The little birds that sat on the tree outside the kitchen window in the morning, the bumble bee buzzing around the blue bells and my babies having fun. 

March the 25th 2020 Day 7 of social distancing.